1 Monumental Year. 43 songs.

suffice to say, 2010's passing is bittersweet for me. at some point in the next few days, i hope to spend some time reflecting on all the blessings/lessons/heartaches i was given in these past 365 days....but our cab will be here in 9 minutes. and i'm in sweatpants. eek!

d & i compiled a list of songs that remind us of the passing year for your (mostly our) enjoyment. voila!

Laundry Room     The Avett Brothers
Fires     Band of Skulls
3 Rounds and a Sound     Blind Pilot
Flesh     David Gray
Come Undone     Duran Duran
Home     Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
This is the Thing     Fink
Between Two Lungs     Florence+ The Machines
Dog Days Are Over     Florence+ The Machines
Heartless     The Fray
That '59 Sound     The Gaslight Anthem
Still     Great Lake Swimmers
Obstacle 1     Interpol
Sex and Reruns     Jay Nash, Matt Duke and Tony Lucca
Empire State of Mind     Jay-Z
Lost in the World      Kanye West & Bon Iver
Silent Shout     The Knife
Dance Yourself Clean     LCD Soundsystem
A Light on a Hill     Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
Rabbit     Matt Duke
Say Please     Monsters of Folk
This Year     The Mountain Goats
The Cave    Mumford & Sons
Temshel     Mumford & Sons
Terrible Love     The National
One of These Days     Neil Young
Like Alcohol     Nico Stai
White Knuckles     OK Go
NYC 's Killing Me     Ray Lamontagne
You Will Leave a Mark     A Silent Film
Rill Rill     Sleigh Bells
Your Ex-Lover is Dead     Stars
Impossible Soul     Sufjan Stevens
The Dress Looks Nice on You     Sufjan Stevens
All Delighted People     Sufjan Stevens
Low Rising     Swell Season
Chicago     The Uglysuit
Hot Tottie     Usher
Sit Down by the Fire     The Veils
It's Thunder & Lightning      We Were Promised Jetpacks
Hysteric     Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Ambling Alp     Yeasayer
Laura Palmer's Prom     You Say Party!  We Say Die!


happy new year, friends!

prettttttttty.

on tonight's agenda: 

we're ending 2010's concert streak with a BANG. 

so freakin' stoked about this. 

it better be loud. 

i'm just sayin'. 

j to the c 

life ain't fair.

d has a half day tomorrow & he is trying emphatically to get me to avoid blogging.

but I HAVE to work tomorrow.

work is SO overRATED.

But...he is pretty awesome, and I am in a relationship with him (or so facebook tells me), so I should probably avoid blogging.  I love you friends!  Goodnight.

a rhythm all my own.

i'm fairly certain that if you listen to my heart with a stethoscope, you can hear this song somewhere deep inside my being....

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ~ Unknown

tra-ffic. 


it's a sore subject in our house. the mere mention of this (3 letter combined with a then) FOUR letter word can make my blood pressure escalate like a rocket. 


the cornerstone of my genuine disgust towards this aforementioned subject lies in my deep & sincere belief that life is too freakin' short to waste my days in a car. staring at other cars...wondering what possesses people to be so terribly rude/inconsiderate/mindless/and just-plain-stupid. 


i have yet to discover the great, life-changing lesson that god or the universe or karma is trying to teach me during these infinite stretches of time...but i have learned these few tidbits: 


1. Traffic. IS. DUMB. (there are plenty of scientific studies to prove this. google it. i dare ya.)


2. Traffic is consistently inconsistent. i can leave my house at 9:35a on a sunny weekday morning & arrive to work at promptly 9:55a. i can leave the following day/week/month, at the exact same time, with the exact same weather conditions only to arrive at 10:15a. for a gal who digs a nice daily routine, this really gets my goat. 


3. Watch out for people who drive green cars. these broccoli colored contraptions are the slowest & most indecisive drivers out there. i don't know how nature unfolded this way, but this theory of mine tests true time & time again.  


the only silver lining is this vast amount of time this character-producing (ha!) roadblock has produced is the opportunity to chat with so many long-distance friends. if you have received a phone call from me in the last 4 months, you better believe there is a direct correlation between those phone calls & my newfound time on the road. i have been notorious about my dislike of talking on the phone. it’s not that i don’t want to talk to my dear friends...it’s that i have realized that i can not possibly just SIT & talk. my hands get busy, my mind gets distracted...i start sweeping the floor or painting my toenails or making a grocery list or organizing god-knows-what...and then the person on the other line senses that i am only sort of paying attention. rude! 


anyhow...i digress. 


here's a pic of an exit that i pass every single day on my commute to work...a constant reminder that "home" is just around the bend:

here's to making the most of the final days of 2010. 


call up a friend for a chat next time traffic steals part of your day. 


life is short, friends. 


give some love. 

our first Twelve25

D & i awoke to a fresh layer of snow covering our quiet little neighborhood. it was quite abandoned, with empty streets & sidewalks blanketed in a winter coat. we bundled ourselves & ventured out with the boys for a christmas morning walk.

\

after our morning coffee, D built a fire and we prepared for brunch. we had a few chicago friends who were in the city for the day & they were gracious enough to join us. we served breakfast casseroles & a fresh salad (thanks, jenn for the recipe idea!). we sipped mimosas & coffee with bailey's. 

we spent the afternoon & most of the evening playing wits & wagers and apples to apples. 

until we all started to get hungry again...so we found a local spot for some pizza. pequod's saved the day. 

d and i finally crawled into bed after a long day. we read the christmas story from Luke, just as i remember my great-grandmother doing when i was a child. despite being apart from our families during these holidays, we did our best to make this day memorable. 

i hope you & yours made some sacred memories on this holiday. 

much love from us both...

merry christmas wherever you may be tonight...

d &  i enjoyed a most memorable christmas day together with friends...and now we're exhausted. i thought i'd leave you with a few songs as a dedication to this precious day. enjoy, dear friends.

much love & peace to you all...



"Sister Winter" by Sufjan Stevens

"River God" by Nichole Nordeman

"O Come O Come Emmanuel" by Sufjan Stevens

where's my pickle?!?!

there is no greater satisfaction than crawling into bed at night & knowing your day was just how it should have been, even more lovely than you imagined it could be. it's magical & glorious & makes you come alive. 

today was one of those days. here's a brief synopsis of our first christmas eve together:

(i should warn you now, you can skip to the pics if you'd like. the next paragraph is selfishly written for me, to imprint this day somewhere other than my unreliable memory.)

a brisk morning walk for coffee with mr. keen + bumping into 2 sets of friends in the neighborhood + our first run in the SNOW (hello, white christmas!!) + a train ride downtown to Christkindlmarket for a cup of Glühwein & a glass pickle ornament (apparently a German tradiition) + a stroll north on michigan avenue + sprinkles cupcakes! + "lunch" at Dublin's + arriving to a "24hr" grocery store & then discovering we had 15 minutes before it closed to get all of our items for tomorrow's brunch....what an adventure! + more Glühwein @ home by the fire + getting the apartment & food ready for guests tomorrow + listening to holiday tunes & talking about our favorite christmases past + making the year's photo booklet + watching Love Actually + discovering that the city is strangely quiet early on Christmas morning

our train stop: 

a snowy walk across the river bridge:

church on michigan avenue: 

christkindlmarket tree

glass ornaments at the market

i can hardly believe we're awake at 3am on christmas morning....but i just didn't want this day to end. 

merry christmas, friends. 

much love to you...

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON

=(

i am sick.

again.

boooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

i sound like marcel. only far less chipper. but he makes me laugh. here's to nyquil & kleenex & a very kind & patient boyfriend.....

holiday spirits. the tunage sort.

the holiday playlist total was a whopping 216 songs. i've narrowed it down to only 12 that i'll designate as the 2012 finalists. d will be subjected to listening to this collection for the next 96 hours. it's our first christmas together in the same city! i wanted to make a playlist that we could burn into our memories for the many years to come: 

"New Morning" - My Morning Jacket
"River" - Madeleine Peyroux & K.D. Lang
"Grow Til Tall" - Jonsi
"Cool Yule" - Louis Armstrong
"O Come, O Come Emmanuel" - Sufjan Stevens
"Winter Song" - Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson
"Winter Birds" - Ray LaMontagne
"Just Like Christmas" - Low
"Red Ribbon Foxes "- A Fine Frenzy
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Coldplay
"Holy, Holy, Holy" - Sufjan Stevens
"Christmastime is Here" - Vince Guaraldi 

here are a few shots of the city this holiday season! enjoy! 

Michigan Avenue

the Christmas tree at the John Hancock building

a Barney's holiday window, "A Foodie Holiday"

short & impromptu.

some people really get under my skin. like they make me want to shake the snot out of 'em. 


i could list a few dozen inconsiderate things drive me mad. 


but that's for another day. 


or... maybe not. 


maybe the more you repeat out loud (or in this case type) those no good, awful, terrible bad things those people do...the more negativity you put out into the universe. 


goodness knows we don't need that. 


d & i spent the evening with an exuberant gentlemen i know from work, who even tonight described himself as spry. he's kind, but no saint. adventurous, but responsible. worldly, and yet so down to earth. he's the type of person who starts talking about his life...and you just envy all the phenomenal paths he has traveled. i'm so envious i can hardly contain myself. don't get me wrong, his stories aren't all joyous & fun-filled. his life recently has been tumultous and heartbreaking, but i have yet to see him downtrodden. 


to get to the point...i don't want to be this person. i still want to be ME. in every form. however that unfolds. but i want to be the FULLEST me that can exist. sometimes i feel overwhelmed by all that i have yet to experience in my 31 years. i'm thankful for people like him who remind me of a life well lived. 


"I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom 
of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. 
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time. "- Jack London


ADDENDUM: this post was written on the evening of December 21, 2010. a glitch in the internet connection ceased it's publication despite my utter disgust. 

in stitches...

when i moved to chicago, i took a job in an area of medicine where i was essentially clueless. i felt like a student all over again. all my knowledge of diabetes & hypertension & ear infections from my 2+ years of family medicine was suddenly unimportant. i would occasionally stitch a finger or hand back in Oklahoma & felt inadequate each & every time. things are quite different in my clinic these days. in the almost 6 months i've been working here, i've put in more sutures than i can possibly count.
since this procedure has become routine, i believe i have lost sight of what the patient is actually experiencing as i address their wound like a problem to be solved. it is easy to dismiss their pain & dive into 'fixing' it without so much as a thought about how this ordinary event in my day will abruptly alter their lives for the next 5-10 days at minimum.

well...today was my turn. an accidental slip of a knife while cutting an avocado & suddenly i became my own clinic's patient:

don't worry, mom & dad. i'm ok. i got two stitches...one on the inside & one on the outside. (thanks, doc B!) from now on, i'll never tell my patients that lidocaine will cause just a little sting. damn!! 

hello, Perspective. nice to see you again. i always appreciate your visits. please come again without bringing your friend, Physical Pain. he's not so nice. 

something borrowed.

my brain. is tired. my body is spent. they are both apparently officially on a stay-cation somewhere sunny & warm. D has been more than patient with my sloth-like attitude today. he's the most gracious soul i have ever known. so in a desperate effort to avoid taxing my already sluggish thoughts....i thought i'd borrow a few pics that have inspired me on this journey: 

i think it's obvious that i have an affinity for words. i snapped this little shot from a box of matches at Francesca's. random, i know. i just couldn't resist. 

one of my life's greatest treasures...miss fawn porter...doing one of my most favorite things...a road trip in my old jeep. memories like these are permanently etched in my mind. 

i can't remember exactly why i had an afternoon off work...but i do remember the magical feeling i had as i wandered through Full Circle on this winter day. 

keen. saying so well what  we were all thinking on this day....where is spring? where is the sun? 

and lastly...these words are on the wall in a favorite lunch spot of ours. i had never noticed it until this random day in may, just after i had trekked across the country to be with D. i could then and i continue to answer YES...as a matter of fact...i do. 

oooOOOhoh. lisTen to tHe mUsiC.

d and i had a most stupendous day. we slept later than i can even remember us ever sleeping. made breakfast for lunch. (it's considered lunch if you eat at 2pm, right?) addressed christmas cards. ate yummmmmmy pizza at spacca napoli. then we topped off the eve with a fantabulous concert in evanston, il. 


we realized on the drive home that we have only one remaining concert left in 2010. as you may know, music is my first love, my constant. i'm so thankful for D & the handful of friends i have that share this obsession of mine. there's no smile of mine more genuine than one that organically appears at a good show. 
here's a list of the shows this year i've been oh-so fortunate to see:


jay nash, tony lucca & matt duke
joshua radin
sunken ship
the frames
band of horses (x2)
airborne toxic event
arcade fire
mumford & sons
temper trap
the national
the avett brothers
swell season
counting crows
ray lamontagne & david gray
dave matthews & jason mraz
cold war kids
interpol
greg laswell
spill canvas
jennifer knapp
norah jones
patty griffith



please know this is not a list to brag, but a list to remember. for me. just one more reason that 2010 has been such a memorable year. i'm every thankful for each of these memorable evenings. i'm overwhelmingly grateful for those that have been with me to share my greatest passion. 


love to you all! muah! 

Peepsberg. The Quad.

on the docket this chilly chicago evening: 

Peepsberg!! 

here we are in our holiday costumes! : 

happy friday, friends!! 

who you callin' a hootycreek?!?!

D & I are spending the evening with some of our dearest Chicago friends in celebration of the holidays & to say good-bye to one member of our little clan. we're in a mad dash to get to the party....but i thought i'd share a delicious cookie recipe that i put together as a small holiday gift. they're just the kind of cookie that i refuse to feel guilty about eating! i mean, they have fruit in them for cryin' out loud!! 

Cranberry Hootycreeks! 

contents of jar: 

5/8 c all-purpose flour

1/2 c rolled oats

1/2 c all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1/3 c packed brown sugar

1/3 c white sugar

1/2 c dried cranberries

1/2 c white chocolate chips

1/2 c chopping pecans

Then you'll need:

1 egg

1/2 c softened butter

1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease a cookie sheet or line with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, beat together butter, egg & vanilla until fluffy. Add entire jar of ingredient and mix together by hand until well blended. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto the prepared baking sheets. 

Bake for 8-10 minutes or until edges start to brown. Cool on baking sheets or remove to cool on wire racks. 

Makes 18 cookies. 

*5/8 c = 1/2 c + 2 TB. who knew!?

toodles! 

xoxox

Thou mayest.

"A vast endless expanse of sky... still, no wind, no moon, no storm - indeed a storm would have been some consolation for then one would at least see life and movement somewhere. On the unending sea there is no boat, no ship, not even a sea monster, and in the sand not even a blade of grass, only a few gulls float in the air and make the loneliness even more desolate and horrible."-

Marie von Kügelgen

dear friends, allow me to introduce you to mr. caspar david friedrich's monk & the sea. 

this piece haunts me. 

"The theme: the tiny figure of a man set against a natural landscape divided into three horizontal zones of color. Its composition breaks with all traditions. There is no longer any perspective depth whatsoever. At the bottom of the picture, the whitish sand dunes making up the narrow strip of shoreline rise at an obtuse angle towards the left. At their apex, the tiny figure of a man robed in black is visible from behind - the only vertical in the picture. There is no other staff age; even the two sailing boats which Friedrich had originally envisaged on either side of the man he subsequently painted over. The oppressively dark zone of the sea meets an extremely low horizon. Some five-sixths of the canvas is given over to the diffuse structure of the cloudy sky. Because all lines lead out of the picture, infinity becomes the true subject of the painting. In the awareness of his smallness, the man, in whose place the viewer is meant to imagine himself, reflects upon the power of the universe." (hoocher.com )

i've stood there. where that monk stands. staring at an expansive sea of emptiness, a sea devouring all that i was once certain of. 

questioning. wondering. wandering. hurting. searching. seeking.  listening. opening. crawling. 

wide open. and yet so afraid. 

many of those precious to me in this life are facing some of life's most brutal truths today: the sudden death of a young son, the loss of a job, the unwelcome return of cancer, a failing marriage. 

this song is for those struggling souls. 

you are not alone.   

we'll hold your hand. 

 Timshel by Mumford & Sons

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And you are the mother
The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night
Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can't move the mountains for you

The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters. ~Svetlana Alliluyeva

D challenged me earlier this year to calculate the number of times i've moved since i left 'home' at the age of 18. i can't remember exactly, but i think the number hovered around 20. that's an average of 1.5 moves/year for the past 13 years. (ugh. just thinking about that stresses me out.) in all of my nomadic experience i've certainly learned to carefully discard belongings with great ease. i'm rarely sentimental over physical objects. i have a small tin box that contains only a handful of 'memorabilia'- a few small trinkets from my childhood, random pictures, my 'sorority' shirt, dozens of concert tickets, an amulet from a dear friend...and letters. lots & lots & lots of letters. 

this precious display of love (which is only a small fraction!) contains birthday & thank you cards, thinking of you mementos, kind words of celebration, contrite apologies and wise words of encouragement. they're from dad & mom, grandparents, 'parents' of dogs i fostered, and old & new friends that have spanned college, grad school & beyond. 

i must say that a generous staple of this collection was the effort of my love, D, writing for many months from 1000 miles away. even after moving here, the cards haven't ceased. =) 

another heaping portion is thanks to my most faithful pen pal, ms. jennifer brittain. one of my dearest blessings in this life has been the 10+ years that we've been sharing our lives via snail mail. i've seriously contemplated compiling our cards to write a book someday!   

so...to each & every friend who has written me a thoughtful card in the past 13 years, please know it means the world to me. enough to drag across hundreds of miles & dozens of moves! in fact, a few years ago when i was practicing in sayre, my parents called me in the middle of the night when i was travelling. a nearby house in my neighborhood was ablaze & my house was in danger of burning down. when they asked what i wanted them to grab from the house, this collection was second only to my financial files. it is truly one of my greatest treasures. 

any post from me can not be complete without a soundtrack, so here's some musical wisdom from the great Neil Young:

One of These Days

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down
and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
And I'm gonna try
And thank them all
for the good times together.
Though so apart we've grown.

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down
and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
One of these days,
one of these days,
one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.

And I'm gonna thank,
That old country fiddler
And all those rough boys
Who play that rock 'n' roll
I never tried to burn any bridges
Though I know I let some good things go.

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down
and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
One of these days,
one of these days,
one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.

From down in L.A.
All the way to Nashville,
From New York City
To my Canadian prairie home
My friends are scattered
Like leaves from an old maple.
Some are weak, some are strong.

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down
and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
One of these days,
one of these days,
one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.

never. say. never.

when we awoke this morning at 7 a.m. it was a whopping 4 degrees in chicago, but it 'felt like' -15 degrees with the wind chill. yes, friends, this is my new home!

(note to self: it will now take you twice as long to get dressed each day. because now you require twice as many articles of clothing.) today's outfit included a tank top, a long-sleeve shirt, a sweater, pants, two pairs of socks and some winter boots. not to mention, a big woolly hat, gloves, a scarf and a 600 count down coat.

this is not me complaining, mind you! winter is my 2nd favorite season behind fall. i have actually been quite enraptured by the evolution into my first chicago winter. just saturday, i had walked 4 blocks to yoga in the freezing rain without ever questioning my sanity. this is city life. and i love it.

my dogs on the other hand? hate. life. right. now.

i own the only chihuahua in the entire universe that hates to wear sweaters or t-shirts of any kind. this is his usual protest to my trying desperately to keep his little body from freezing in the snow:

before i moved here, i used to see these ridiculous people buying dog 'booties' for their pooches. i scoffed! what's wrong with these people?! dogs are tougher than we imagine! why would your poor dog want you to put Puggs (yes. this is for real) on their paws?!
then reality smacked us right in the face. wham!
10 minutes into a brisk morning walk last week, mr. keen came to a dead halt & tried to lie down on the cold concrete. his three grisly paws were frozen blocks of ice. it took me no less than 2.1 seconds to scoop him up & carry him until they thawed. (i'm a sucker.)
(oh...and don't worry about mr. nook. there are no walks beyond the garden gate for the chihuahua.)

this evening, despite all that seems right & normal in the world, i purchased two sets of PawZ: natural rubber, waterproof dog boots.

OMG.

please be my friend still.

nook began to walk like a duck, swinging his back legs around to the front with each step. keen refused to move. i'll leave you with a tiny snippet of the uncontrollable laughter that ensued when i placed these boots (AKA thick balloons) on the boys' feet:

until tomorrow, friends. stay warm!

let your heart be light.

it's snowing here!!!!  (and i LOVE it!!!!) it's a blanket of goodness & peace & grace.

d & i had a most fantastic winter-wonderland-kind-of-day: a simple, hot homemade brunch, a long, quiet walk through the neighborhood, making grocery shopping our own little adventure, a toasty fire in the fireplace, a scrumptious bowl of chili, fresh baked cookies and trader joe's winter ale.

we've also been previewing some new tunes for the winter playlist that i so eagerly compile each year. the final list will likely take us a few days...but until then, here are a few of my most favorite wintery songs that capture my heart each year (in no particular order):

• River by Aimee Mann
• Winter Birds by Ray Lamontagne
• Vokuro by Bjork
• Winter Song by Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson
• Oh My God by Jars of Clay 
• Silent Night by Damien Rice
• The Heartache Can Wait by Brandi Carlile 

my blog tactic must be adjusted. i've been procrastinating for a solid month now. on most days it seems like such a daunting task to sit down & shift my brain into a creative state. 

i'm probably over-thinking it. 

in fact, i know i am. 

sigh. 

so...i'm going to be writing a little something each & every day for the remaining 19 days of this year. it may be simple & short & a sentence or 2...but it will be something. 

until tomorrow! toodles!