a handful of thanks

a short little blog about things i have been uber thankful for lately:

1. snooooooooooooooooooooow!!

2. gracious & generous friends

3. my baby brother's 16th birthday in 2 days. my how time flies...sniff. sniff.

4. d & i are less than 100 hours from seeing The Decemberists @ the Riv

5. a new book that i can hardly wait to devour

AND THIS!!!!!:

6. the entire NEW bright eyes album streaming on youtube:

make your past your past.

i literally stumbled into this sign tonight...in yet another part of the city. i couldn't make this up if i wanted to: 

and ever since....i've been singing this song: 

life is so beautiful. take notice, lovelies. 

a mantra to adopt.

Be kind, for everyone 

you meet is 

fighting a hard battle. 

- Plato

my constant.

I cannot forget my mother. She is my bridge. 

When I needed to get across, she steadied herself 

long enough for me to run across safely. 

- Renita Weems

happy birthday to the bravest woman i have ever known...a girl who suddenly became a woman & a mother when she was still a child herself...who with dedication & determination & a strong spirit rose above overwhelming circumstances to become a remarkable woman.  she's the person who taught me what it means to sacrifice, to put others first & to love, love, love despite how people may hurt you. she's slow to share her opinion (a trait i clearly did not inherit), but quick to listen. she's a true & loyal friend, a clever competitor, a tender heart & a wise soul. she's brilliant...always observing & anticipating the needs of her family & friends. she's quick witted & tough as nails. her faith is a quiet & personal walk, but strong & steady. i am proud to call her mother. 

happy birthday, mom. i love you so. 

mom's brood: emily, me & dylan October 2010

searching west and east and all points in-between

d & i had another lovely sunday....i've decided this goodness is our norm...which makes me quite pleased.

brunch. naps. quality conversation. good tunes.

 just sharing life together. in the same city. finally.  

it is overwhelming at times that a life so simple can be so beautiful. 

we capped the day off with a beer & a second dessert by the fire, 

watching Monsters of Folk on Austin City Limits. 

this supergroup holds a place in my top 3 concerts of all time. 

i hope you & yours enjoyed a magical sunday together. 

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important. -Martin Luther King, Jr. 

for my pops.

happy birthday to the first man in my life...the one who infused music & wonder into my bones...the one who taught me to be transparent & real by sheer example, to trust & question equally, to stand up for the little guy, to accept people where they are & respect where they have been...the man my friends call superman. 

i could go on...but he has probably already crawled under a rock to hide from this affectionate post. here's a video or two that reminds me of my pops. music is our first language. 

happy birthday, mr. howard.

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown

home alone.

i'm weird. 

(in case you've ever doubted my awareness of this observation.) 

i can go hours & hours & hours alone in a quiet house in complete serenity. i quite enjoy a silent evening alone. of my few talents, i am more than capable of occupying myself for ridiculous stretches of time. 

(this can be a strength & a weakness. trust me.) 

i'm convinced the root of this tendency is the 16 years i spent as an only child...with parents who were running a time consuming business & going to college & growing up themselves....all while trying to raise a precocious little girl.

so when D is away, i indulge in what's known as Secret Single Behavior.  this little ceremony was once mentioned on Sex In The City. SSB is those idiosyncrasies that come to life when you've been left alone with no roommate, partner, spouse, etc. i can easily divide an entire evening between deep cleaning, cooking a new recipe, enjoying a beer while i peruse the internet for new music, eating sweetness from a jar, or organizing some arbitrary household commodity. i can actually squeeze all of the aforementioned activities into one evening typically!  

tonight's roster included: fixing a vacuum cleaner, drinking a Goose Island Mild Winter, making Moroccan Stew, searching for Alexi Murdoch videos and eating a spoonful (or 2) of nutella. 

uh-may-zing! 

here's a little video i found of Mr. Murdoch. i'm uber stoked about seeing him next month. so much that i've been obsessed since i bought tickets on saturday. unfortunately, there seem to be very few videos available. this is one of the few live ones i could snag: 

here's to a nutella & beer night in your world.

repeat after me.

Wild Geese 

You do not have to be good. 

You do not have to walk on your knees 

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. 

You only have to let the soft animal of your body 

love what it loves. 

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. 

Meanwhile the world goes on. 

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain 

are moving across the landscapes, 

over the prairies and the deep trees, 

the mountains and the rivers. 

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, 

are heading home again. 

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, 

the world offers itself to your imagination, 

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--

over and over announcing your place 

in the family of things.

signs.

today started like any other sunday...sleeping in & telling keen a half dozen times that i would take him out before i would actually pry myself from the warm blankets to do it...or maybe a dozen...and then eventually crawling out sometime before 11. d & i had my "perfect" sunday planned...brunch (my favorite meal), an afternoon movie...some unhurried time at the gym...planning our weekly schedules & meals...it was just like most sundays around here. 

or so i thought...

and then surprisingly...at least to me...was the very bold message/reminder/happenstance that strikes you as a moment in time that you could not forget if you wanted to do so. 

d & i saw a movie that spoke to the very core of my being...rattled my cage...made me feel hazy & discombobulated & lost...as if i were only floating in & out of the remainder of the day...and yet so fully aware of a whole host of my faults...

ouch. 

and then....a full hour after the movie had ended... still haunted by this sick feeling that my soul had been turned inside out...

i saw a sign. 

literally. 

d was driving & probably scared the bejeezus out of him when i suddenly asked him to stop the car...(mind you i had been an emotional disaster for the past hour & he probably thought i'd snapped)...but he agreed...and i ran down the sidewalk in my winter coat & hat & scarf to capture this: 

i must have looked like the joker when i ran back to the car...smiling as if i'd won the lottery...it felt as if i had....(well, that & the fact that a homeless man walked behind me as was taking the picture & proceeded to relieve himself quite unashamedly)...

i haven't had time to process all that has flooded my mind & heart & soul in the passing hours since...i fear i haven't conveyed the overwhelming grace i experienced today...because i can't fully explain it yet...and i am painstakingly slow when it comes to soaking up these sorts of lessons...but it had to be shared...set adrift out there in cyber space like a message in a bottle...

i'd like to think maybe it's a sign for someone else, too....

guilty pleasures. forever ever.

two things on my wandering mind tonight...

1. in light of the recent new year & my lack of commitment to any resolution (yet)....i thought i'd make a short list of things i will not give up.

ever. ever. ever.

nope, never.

• milk. straight from the carton. no matter how old or 'responsible' i'm supposed to become. with that being said...
• eating sweet things with a spoon. again, straight from the carton. this may or may not include nutella, peanut butter, ice cream and/or frosting. 
• music. (duh.) 
• liner notes. 
• books. REAL LIVE books. that smell like books. 
• calendars. REAL LIVE calendars. with pages. that you can write on. with a pencil. 
• flossing. 
• snail mail. 
• adventures. exploring. discovering. 
• chocolate cake + wine. 
• beer + pizza. 
• peanut butter & banana sandwiches + milk. 
• late nights. 
• sweatpants. 
• weekend brunch. 
• falling asleep in another's lap, feeling like all is right in the world.
• road trips. 

2. Death Cab For Cutie is rumored to have a new cd out in 2011. 

be still my beating heart.