my space. (not to be confused with myspace.)

i'll admit it. 

i'm an introvert. 

wholly & completely. 

i can spend hours, days (& likely weeks) alone.

i need some time to just. be. to think. to piddle around the apartment with no agenda. 

i need to feel un-rushed & un-pressured. 

why i chose a career that requires non-stop interaction with people is beyond me. 

if you have ever lived with me, you have experienced the crazy-eyed, frustrated version of me when life has been hectic & i haven't made time to recharge. 

for most of my life though, i have been my own worst enemy- always filling every slot of free time with an activity or a to-do. 

people who love me are always telling me to slow down, stop "doing" & take a break. 

(i'm also ridiculously stubborn.)

i'm finally taking their loving advice to heart.

so i've carved out a little space in our apartment where i can camp out each day to do my favorite things: create, read, write, reminisce, listen. 

(and make lists of things to-do. later, of course.) 

the reason i'm sharing it with you? 

because you're there too. 

a written letter from ms. porter that encourages me to be the best me i can. 

a pocket cyclopedia of medicine & surgery written in 1913 from one of my favorite mentors. 

an amulet from my dear friend, mr. robison. (unfortunately, you can't see it in the light.) 

a journal from ms. cavnar. 

stationary from miss mcfadden. 

a book solely dedicated to my favorite music from mr. rocke. 

a picture of my great-grandmother, a lovely reminder of the strong women in my lineage. 

a picture frame from ms. brooks, a gift when i embarked on my journey to chicago. 

a thumbs-up dinosaur egg my pops gave me after a rough year many years ago. 

so though i'm far, far away...

know you're with me. 

always. 

(there were too many nut puns out there to choose just one. insert your own inappropriate title here.)

the title of this recipe from the source: Best Roasted Nuts Ever. 

simple, but true.

i made my first batch this week & every person i've shared them with has asked for the recipe.

(that rarely happens to me, so i revel in the glory!)

as a bonus, they are super healthy!

(unless you eat 3/4 of the batch in TWO days. not that i would do something like that. i'm just saying.)



2 cups of RAW mixed nuts (no salt. no oil. nada. just NUTS.)
1 TBS coconut oil
1 tsp sea salt (i used kosher)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
zest of 1 lime

preheat oven to 350 degrees.

place the nuts on a cookie sheet & bake for about 5 minutes. then shake them up/flip them over (i.e. spill nuts all over your kitchen floor) & bake for 5 more minutes.

**the original recipe says 10 min & then 5 more. i have lost MANY recipes of roasted nuts because they burn before the time is up. i have learned my lesson. test it out for yourself in your own oven.**

pour the nuts into a bowl & mix with coconut oil until the nuts are all coated. stir in the seasoning & lime zest. then spread them back onto the baking sheet to cool.

I WOULD HAVE INSERTED A FANCY PHOTO HERE 

IF I HAD NOT ALREADY EATEN ALL THE DAMN NUTS. 

how about a koala bear instead? 

happy friday! 

thunderup

we may be down, but we're not out. 

here's to one more shot at making history.

walt grace's submarine test, january 1967

here's to keeping things afloat & learning to turn in the tide....

you're still young, that's your fault.

a classic tune to welcome the weekend. 

plant seeds in the cracks & pray for rain. (andrea gibson)

i haven't been blogging much.

my thoughts have been scattered & half-formed, like leftover cobbler after a summer picnic.
my guts have felt so raw lately. i am feeling everything to the Nth degree.

when i'm happy, i'm euphoric and when i'm sad, it's feels like i am mourning.

it's hard to make sense of what is and what was and what is becoming.

 i've never had so much time in my adult life to just. be. and yet still live.

i'm walking more & rushing less. i've been less enticed by fancy restaurants and more obsessed with long strolls in the trees. i want beauty to crash down from waterfalls. i want words etched into my bones.

i bought an Indian chime that sounds like peace and wind rushing over mountaintops and my grandparents' house. i long to fall asleep listening to that bell clang.



a musical advent calendar: day 1

my first memories of going to church are learning this song for a 

christmas program when i was probably 5 or 6. 

even then, i had an unnatural love for all things music. 

this song always, always, always reminds me of that 

little church in kingfisher, oklahoma, with its 'live' nativity scene. 

i often give thanks for those women who so patiently taught us these lines.